Hi Jennyren,

The listening exercise is very important to me because I so rarely listen to others - just ask my wife :-).  Here is the description.

To this, one thing more must be added before the highest point in this region can be attained. Of very great importance for the development of the student is the way in which he listens to others when they speak. He must accustom himself to do this in such a way that, while listening, his inner self is absolutely silent. If someone expresses an opinion and another listens, assent or dissent will, generally speaking, stir in the inner self of the listener. Many people in such cases feel themselves impelled to an expression of their assent, or more especially, of their dissent. In the student, all such assent or dissent must be silenced. It is not imperative that he should suddenly alter his way of living by trying to attain at all times to this complete inner silence. He will have to begin by doing so in special cases, deliberately selected by himself. Then quite slowly and by degrees, this new way of listening will creep into his habits, as of itself. In spiritual research this is systematically practiced. The student feels it his duty to listen, by way of practice, at certain times to the most contradictory views and, at the same time, bring entirely to silence all assent, and more especially, all adverse criticism. The point is that in so doing, not only all purely intellectual judgment be silenced, but also all feelings of displeasure, denial, or even assent. The student must at all times be particularly watchful lest such feelings, even when not on the surface, should still lurk in the innermost recess of the soul. He must listen, for example, to the statements of people who are, in some respects, far beneath him, and yet while doing so suppress every feeling of greater knowledge or superiority. It is useful for everyone to listen in this way to children, for even the wisest can learn incalculably much from children. The student can thus train himself to listen to the words of others quite selflessly, completely shutting down his own person and his opinions and way of feeling. When he practices listening without criticism, even when a completely contradictory opinion is advanced, when the most hopeless mistake is committed before him, he then learns, little by little, to blend himself with the being of another and become identified with it. Then he hears through the words into the soul of the other. Through continued exercise of this kind, sound becomes the right medium for the perception of soul and spirit. Of course it implies the very strictest self-discipline, but the latter leads to a high goal. When these exercises are practiced in connection with the other already given, dealing with the sounds of nature, the soul develops a new sense of hearing. She is now able to perceive manifestations from the spiritual world which do not find their expression in sounds perceptible to the physical ear. The perception of the “inner word” awakens. Gradually truths reveal themselves to the student from the spiritual world. He hears speech uttered to him in a spiritual way. Only to those who, by selfless listening, train themselves to be really receptive from within, in stillness, unmoved by personal opinion or feeling only to such can the higher beings speak of whom spiritual science tells. As long as one hurls any personal opinion or feeling against the speaker to whom one must listen, the beings of the spiritual world remain silent.

If read in its entirety you can see that this exercise is more about quieting one's own thoughts and feelings while listening to others than consciously striving to "merge with" the person, that bit comes towards the end of the description, in my opinion it's more like a result or a fruit than something that one strives for.  Related to this, John has recently posted a link to an article about therapy which talks movingly about "suffering the other" here http://www.philosophyoffreedom.com/node/1944#comment-4278. 

Once one's own personal thoughts, feelings and opinions are out of the way, yes I find as I'm sure you do that the being of the other person is more accessible.  It's not easy of course especially when you think you know better!  But not only that, there is still something there which is listening and participating, I experience that as my "higher self".

I have a dear friend, very bright, who used to espouse the virtues of the Nazis in World War two to me ad infinitum in our teens and at University.  He was quite passionate about it.  Equally he would challenge me with clever arguments and counter-examples if I espoused pacifism or similar ideas. 

That experience was of immense value to me though I'm still not a card-carrying Nazi or interested in the idea of eugenics or similar.  What it did do was open my eyes to the fact that people can differ greatly at an intellectual level while still being close at a soul level.

As a result I don't usually tend to put the greatest emphasis on a person's intellectual beliefs.  They can often be just window dressing for something much deeper, more human and more interesting and worthy of my love and respect.

When I look at the rocks and listen to their songs, I notice that their life takes place in another time dimension...

When I look at the animals, I feel compassion, sometimes their eyes are so human..., but also we can learn a lot about people observing the animals, their emotional life and behavior in their society …

When I look at the flowers, i.e. roses, I am thankful that they are here and make our life  more beautiful. The essence of them is innocence, but I wonder what will happen with them after wither…

All pass away in their proper time… Who or what is the next?

Everything, which exists on the Earth at this moment, is connected, merged by space and by time, and when it passes away, we see a continuation …